Chapter One; Dead Mom
No book could ever prepare me for the grief that follows a loss. The stories I would read were typically happy endings, or at least had hope inside of their spines. However, there was no hope in my story. Of course, I had my family and Andrew, but as much as it pained me to say, it just wasn’t the same. My mother raised me, whether or not she actually raised me aside, and that’s not something I could just forget.
Xavier was patient, but after the fourth week of sitting in a dark room without much social interaction, I could tell he was getting frustrated with me. He would come in and question me about the press conference and when I’d return to school, which I still didn’t have any answers for. I couldn’t think about moving on without my mother, even after all the pain she has caused me. Lucy was gentle, telling me after dad had left the room to take my time.
Andrew and I called almost every day after he came back from school, and whether we sat in silence or chatted about random topics, it was nice to have that company. Even on the days when I didn’t want to talk, he would ramble on about assignments from classes or drama he overheard in the halls. No matter what we did, it was reassuring to have someone that understood what I was feeling.
Olivia and Liam went back to Majestia Prep shortly after the incident as well, with triple security brought in from each kingdom. Every classroom had at least two guards, with armed guards surrounding the island. I had seen photos online, and it looked like a prison.
Aura didn’t understand what grief was, and she was always concerned with my constant negative appearance. She would try to talk to me, and never quite understood why I wouldn’t respond back. She was patient, though, and soon we went back to normal conversations.
I spent a lot of time inside, and Xavier never really let me outside without the family or a swarm of guards. He says it’s for “protection,” but I knew he was ashamed of who I was. I mean, I couldn’t really say I blamed him. I was ashamed too, and sometimes I wish I could be just like everyone else.
Everyday was the same, and it felt like an endless mush of the same day over and over again. Five weeks on the dot of my mother’s death, however, I could tell Xavier had finally had enough. It was a random day, around noon. While I was in my room, I heard Xavier’s familiar knock on the door. After a small “come in,” he opened the door. I immediately sat up from under my covers as he closed the door.
“Mariah, honey,” he began, but I quickly cut him off,
“I know, I know. ‘Mariah, why aren’t you getting off of your mopey butt and getting back into the royal life? Why are you so sad now?’ I get it.” I said, rubbing my eyes to adjust to the sunlight that he was letting in my room by opening my blinds.
“Honey, I understand you’re going through this. But, life must move forward.” He explained, sitting on the edge of my bed.
“Life must move forward? Have you lost your mind? You want me just to poof happy, smiley, all rainbows? Well I’m sorry but that’s-” I started, but he cleared his throat. I stopped talking as he rubbed his temples.
“I don’t know how else to explain this to you, Mariah. I’ve already tried to tell you that when things like this happen, we still have to keep moving forward with life.” He continued, completely disregarding my attempts to talk over him.
“Xavier, honey-” I heard Lucy call, opening up my door quietly. Xavier turned around, his shoulders quickly dropping.
“Mariah, your father doesn’t understand grieving. He was forced to move on when his brother and his father died. He didn’t get that chance to grieve.” Lucy explained, putting a hand on his shoulder. She consoled him as she continued to speak.
“However, he doesn’t like to admit that he’s still grieving everyday. Honey, I understand the grief you’re going through. Your father is just worried about you.” She explained. I sighed. I knew that the kingdom needed answers, and his attempts to push me to accept the unacceptable were all in good faith. However, the thought of even getting up in the morning and moving on with my life seemed impossible. I had to admit that I started to like how life was before the dance, but I got used to the safety of staying in my room all day.
“You’re right, you’re right. I need to get off my butt and keep going. I’ved moped long enough.” I explained, wiping a stray tear from my face. I’ve put on a smile before, I can do it again.. I think.
***
“Tomorrow? Are you sure you’re ready?” Andrew asked on the phone right after he got out of school. He always called me the second he got out of his class, and he was often still in the building when he called me. I had to admit, I never really felt this important to someone before, even as the Destroyer. Destroyer. What happens when the kingdom finds out? I’m surprised they haven’t pieced things together yet. I rubbed my forehead.
“You don’t have to do this until you’re ready, you know.” Andrew explained, but I shook my head.
“Yes I do, Andrew. Xavier agrees. It’s time I move on and face what I’ve done.” I told him.
“But you haven’t done anything, Mariah.” He said, his voice getting a bit sharper. I huffed.
“Fine, whatever you say. But it really is time I get back into life regardless. I miss how things were. I miss soccer, and I weirdly miss going to school. I miss being able to go outside in the garden for some fresh air and not having to worry about being attacked by some angry Jammer who is sick of being left in the dark. I miss knowing that my mom was at least alive.” I delineated.
“I miss a lot of things too, Mariah. I miss seeing you everyday. But I wouldn’t have gotten the chance to call an amazing princess my girlfriend, so I wouldn’t trade it for anything.” Andrew said, his voice sounding like he was in awe of still being able to say that.
“Not even for your mother to come back?” It was silent. After about three minutes, I heard Andrew clear his throat.
“I miss her everyday, and I would do anything to have her back. But I believe that Mira has a plan, and I trust her process.” He explained, causing me to clear my throat.
“Xavier tells me that too. The whole ‘Mira is always watching over us’ speech. I’ve heard her voice, I know she’s real. But how can she be rooting for a hybrid that has already done so much damage?” I asked.
“Because you’re different. You’re willing to change your ways and throw away everything you’ve been taught growing up. You were willing to be good, Mariah. That’s why. You might be part phantom, but your heart is pure.” He explained. I snorted.
“You’re just trying to compliment me.” I laughed. He chuckled.
“Yes, but I’m being serious.” He said.
“I have to start writing notes for this press release, but I’m not even sure how to say anything. What does he expect me to say? ‘Hey, Jamaa. I’m a phantom hybrid that has helped the phantoms, my mother was the one who attacked the ball, I’m a phantom princess, and oh hey, I’m the Destroyer that’s supposed to conquer your world.”’ I teased, looking at the paper that Xavier had written. It had a few points that he wanted me to include in my speech. We had a unit on “Public Communications” in my royal manners course last year, but none of it was preparing me to try to convince a whole kingdom that I wasn’t some monster.
“I still don’t quite understand the whole Destroyer thing myself, and there isn’t a whole lot of information in the libraries about it. Just similar things that you’ve told me. I wonder if the prophecy is being hidden from Jammers.” Andrew informed me.
“Trust me, I don’t get it either. My mother never let me read the prophecy, so I don’t know what it says. I just know the Destroyer is destined to conquer Jamaa for the phantoms. That’s it.” I explained. I heard a door close from Andrew’s end, and I assumed he was getting inside his carriage.
“I can help you write that press release if you want. I have some homework, but I wouldn’t mind coming over and helping you out while I do my homework.” I heard his smirk through the phone. I rolled my eyes.
“You’re dumb.” I laughed, agreeing. I could use the help, and besides, I’ve missed seeing him.
***
“Princess Mariah, you have a guest.” I heard the castle stewart’s voice ring through my room. The intercom system was still an adjustment, but it was convenient.
“Send him in, thank you.” I replied, watching as the door opened. Andrew appeared in the doorframe with some lavenders in his grasp.
“You know, you don’t have to bring me flowers every time you see me.” I teased him, giving him a quick ‘thank you’ hug. I put the flowers in the vase next to my bed.
“I finally get to do this, so yes I do.” He laughed walking over to my desk. I followed him, showing him the scribbles on the small piece of paper that Xavier gave to me.
“So he wants you to write this on your own?” Andrew asked, raising an eyebrow. I shrugged.
“I guess so. He says it’s more personal that way.” I explained. Andrew nodded.
“Well, I mean you can always be honest. Also, always ask for a few questions from the crowd. It gives a very personal effect that will help your case.” Andrew said, grabbing a piece of paper from my desk.
“Thank you for helping me with this.” I smiled, causing Andrew’s cheeks to turn a light pink.
“Of course, Mariah. Anytime.”
***
Andrew left shortly before dinner, and I shared what I had so far of my speech to Xavier during our meal.
“This looks great so far, Mariah! I’m very proud of you.” Xavier said, causing my heart to swell. I still wasn’t used to getting so many compliments, and hearing those words made me gleam with joy.
“You are a beautiful writer! Perfect at addressing such a crowd.” Lucy added, causing me to start to tear up a bit. I quickly cleared my throat, rubbing my eyes so I could see clearly again. Compliments were hard to accept in itself, but hearing them come from your parents was a whole new experience.
“Why didn’t Andrew stay for dinner?” Liam asked.
“He had a lot of homework to do that he was putting off, and his dad wanted him to go home and finish it.” I laughed, taking a bite of my beef filet.
“Is Andrew going to be attending your press conference tomorrow?” Xavier asked. I nodded.
“He’s such a gentleman.” Lucy noted, ushering for a maid to pour her more tea.
“Yeah he’s really nice.” I replied, running my hand through my hair. It was in the usual braid, with a black ponytail to tie it off. It was quite a relief to have my normal, purple hair back. But it was weird seeing everyone else with brown and blonde hair.
“I know you’re worried about tomorrow, but it’s going to be alright. We’ll be with you every step of the way.” Xavier assured me, putting a small smile on my face.
How did I get lucky enough to have a family like this?
***
“Good morning, Princess Mariah!” I heard a maid’s voice ring through the intercom of my room. I instantly jumped up, nearly causing Aura to fly off of my bed. They really need to stop doing that.
“Here’s your breakfast, your highness.” One of the maids opened my door, bringing in fresh blueberries and yogurt on a silver platter. Aura immediately dove down to the plate after the maid had left, grabbing as many berries as her little arms could grasp. I laughed as multiple blueberries started falling from her grasp, quickly putting my hand underneath so I could catch them for her. I heard my phone buzzing, and the caller ID popped up as “Andrew.” I quickly answered it, causing Aura to fly back behind my pillows with her snack. I wonder if Xavier would mind her being here.
“Hey.” I said, popping a blueberry in my mouth. I heard some russells from the other end of the phone.
“Hey.” He replied groggily. I laughed at him.
“Why do you sound like you just woke up?” I chuckled. He cleared his throat.
“Because I did.” He responded, a knock on the other end. He called for them to come in, and I heard clanging of dishes.
“Here’s your breakfast, your highness. Your carriage is set to arrive at 9 AM to take you to Princess Mariah’s castle. The press release starts at 11, but your father thought you’d want to be there earlier.” The maid explained, and Andrew’s raspy voice said a quick “thanks.”
“You know, you don’t have to call every morning.” I told him.
“Of course I do. It starts me off for a great day.” He explained. I smiled, rubbing my eyes.
“You’re coming over in an hour, right?” I asked, finishing the yogurt in the bowl.
“Yep. Or as soon as I can get myself moving.” He chuckled.
“My father wants to meet with me as soon as I get ready, so I better get going.” I said, getting out of bed.
“Alright, see you soon.” Andrew said, saying his goodbyes. I hung up the phone, watching as Aura continued to nibble on her blueberries.
“Alright, Aura. Do you want to help me pick out a dress? We’ve got quite a day today.” I looked at her, watching as her eyes grew in happiness at the thought of looking through my dresses. At least one of us was able to be excited for what was going to go down today.
I’ve had this chapter, and the next two, written for quite a few months now. However, school has definitely been getting in the way. On top of that, I fell a few weeks ago and have badly sprained my foot (and might need surgery). That definitely has given me some more time to write lol. I’m excited to be back, and I have some very cool stuff in the works for this series! Jam On!
Have theories, fan art, or questions? Email Cuteypie at cuteypie0518@gmail.com !